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    In the beginning I was still hung up on Bad Boy, but distraction and detox (no contact with Bad Boy) really worked. Some of you were kind enough to answer my 60-second survey question: What is the single biggest challenge you’re dealing with in dating and relationships these days?

    When Bad Boy reached out to me 16 months later, the addiction was genuinely dead, and I could authentically say f*** off. A’s excellent advice, detox from your Bad Boy, and if you can, find something or someone that can pull you forward into the present or the future — rather than some wistful past that you’ve idealized. If you wanted to answer but didn’t get around to it, you can do it now here.

    Your reactions to the “Bad Boys & Addictions” article was swift and enthusiastic.

    Turns out that almost every woman has had some kind of experience with bad boys, not all of them healthy. ” Here’s one from Theresa: This post really hit me.

    By far, the biggest challenge the respondents encountered was meeting quality men.

    How do you find a guy who’s compatible, age-appropriate, and interested in a long-term committed relationship?

    The phrase “finding a man who wants to be a grown-up” came up several times.

    This response summarized the challenge nicely: “Meeting a man who I feel compatible with, feeling attracted to that same man AND having him treat me well.” This is what all the online dating methods call the phase.

    Why don’t men hate being single as much as women do?Surely these things apply to men just as much as women?If this is the case, why aren’t men jumping up and down with excitement when they meet someone they connect with, like we are?Why aren’t they just as keen as we are to know “where things are going” early on in the relationship? I particularly love your list of what sucks about being single.A lot of men my age seem uninterested in a committed relationship, seeming to prefer a more casual “low investment, low return” approach to relationships. As a guy who was single for 35 years, I completely agree and think that – all things remaining equal – having a good relationship is a far superior state of being than being alone.

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