But, if I had stayed, I would’ve kept right on going with antics that frankly were beneath the person I wanted to be and knew I really was. It listed things that you ABSOLUTELY MUST NOT DO in order to at that time.Sure, give any one a few months, and they’ll realize they’ve been a bit desperate and probably eventually stop, but this is very hard to do when your entire world falls below your feet. The author was brilliant at providing check lists so that you can pick out your situation and then gives you a road map to fix it.I remembered the road map and figured I should maybe take a look at exactly what I should be doing.I read it again several times and put the plan in the back of my mind.After I got over my shock and anger, I was floored, not only at his behavior, which came out of left field, but how sharp a contrast this was to how we used to be. All we needed was for him to just change his mind with this ridiculous break up.Sure, we’d had our issues, but once upon a time, we were in perfect sync and truly happy, and nothing like the situation on our hands now. So, I panicked and went on a single handed — through threats, through begging, through desperate, (and now embarrassing) behavior.And, no matter whether we stayed married or not, I wanted to at least be able to look this man in the eye and maintain a cordial relationship.I memorized my road map and learned that what I needed to do most probably wouldn’t come naturally, but nothing in the book was hard or asked me to do something that I wasn’t comfortable with.
Because I was going to be several hundred miles away. My misery and desperation no longer had a death grip on me. Weirder still, he sounded almost concerned and then confused.
Getting away from the situation was a breath of fresh air. It was wonderful to see people who loved me just as I was, without picking apart my flaws. I made arrangements for two of our (and now my) good friends to come and see me at my home in a few weeks. Believe it or not, when I got back, I was not even that desperate to pick the difficult dance back up. Almost as though he were worried about, or at least trying to figure out, my sudden silence.
I just wanted to keep up with my serenity and I didn’t want to take a step back. Frankly, I was ready to give in and wave my white I tried to busy myself and continue moving forward. I was determined to read books that made me happy, dust off my old classic albums that only I enjoyed and just take some alone time to sort things out. I explained that I’d taken some time back home and was just trying to improve and enjoy myself during what could be a difficult time.
Being happy with yourself is a huge key, because you’re not going to attract the relationship you want if you yourself are miserable.
Without really meaning too, I kind of combined these methods with pretty convincing results.